Sitting at the feet of masters

Death in all forms has been a part of my life since I was a six-year old growing up in South Africa. Each death felt like something that was connected to me got lost or broke off. I was drawn to discussions about death and found it odd and irritating that no one wanted to talk about how it fits into society, how we can honor it, and how sacred, special, terrifying, and magical it is. Death is such a mystery. Being with someone when they die is one of the biggest privileges any person can experience.

Accepting the reality that we all die and actively helping people who are in the process of dying deepened my gratitude for this moment in a way that’s hard to explain. I changed the face of my watch and inserted a disc that reads “NOW.” When someone asks the time, it is “now.” Every day, I also build a mini holiday into my schedule.

I prefer not to spend time with people who choose to be unaware of, or at least consider, their mortality. I’ve found that sweating the small stuff is such a waste of precious time. The choice to listen, be open, and say “yes” to life is far more exhilarating than most other things. By being aware of the reality that we all die, I’m also deeply aware of how interactions with others need to be loving, and how getting angry shortens my life and reduces my joy.

The wisdom of each person is indescribable. It feels as if I am sitting at the feet of masters. Perhaps, the wisdom seeps through the vulnerability they display.

Their support for each other and friendship is completely unconditional, and it makes me think that THIS is how friendship should be. This is what unconditional looks like. I want to be like that. I’ve also been surprised to witness the visible, almost tangible, ongoing development of each person since the circle began. This experience has made each participant stronger, more daring, more “out there.”

Thanks to this circle, I approach everything with about 100 percent more self-confidence. I’m confident that things don’t have to be perfect, and I enjoy a heap of added humor. I take things less seriously, yet, more seriously. I tell people I love them when I say goodbye on the phone or when we greet at gatherings, and I make regular phone calls every Sunday evening to a long list of people for a check-in. I don’t say yes to things I don’t want to do, and I do say yes to as many things that make my heart sing as possible. I’m more direct and real with people. The elephant circle deepened my gratitude and changed my entire approach to life.